I am now on Blogger and no longer wish to update xanga every time I blog there. Here is the link:
lifeleswithacross.blogspot.com.
Thanks,
Alicia

There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love. ~ 1 John 4:18

I have been contemplating this verse a lot lately and really tried to understand and remember that I don't need to fear for I have God's people seem to think that through punishment one builds character which makes us better people. It kinda makes sense... right? That's what we were taught... right? "You are grounded!"...'Why?'..."Because, you are being punished for...(insert offense)"
That is the best way to motivate someone to change... isn't it? I think not! Think about it this way. When you do something wrong and are punished for it... What really motivates you to change? Fear! But not only that... when fear motivates us we focus on what not to do! Rather than teaching us to learn what is right and walk in it, We are being taught to learn what is wrong and attempt to avoid it because when you fall out of line it isn't gonna be pretty. So we spend our lives paralyzed by fear thinking that this is the way life is supposed to be. We just take the cards we are dealt by the enemy and instead of turning in a bad card we hold onto it because we fear the consequences of asking the dealer for a new card... even when it is within your power to win... You put on a happy face and try to play a losing game. In the end the enemy just took more than your money but also more power.
God has called us into a lifestyle of love and trust. A life of learning Him and focusing on Him... So that we could live our lives without fear... but in complete trust of Him no matter how bad the circumstances may be... When you are focused on Him, His love for you washes away any fear that tries to come in and steal your focus. Because stealing the focus from God is one of the enemy's ultimate goals. Because what we behold is what we become. Mind your focus... Even when you focus on what you don't want to be... Ultimately because that is what holds your focus it is what you become most like. Whatever you spend most of your time thinking about you are probably going to be the most like. If it is not God remember that it is replacing Him and therefore becoming a god in your mind.

I love y'all! ~ Alicia

Spent some time today looking back, it is the time of year where my mom starts asking me to have my part of the family Christmas letter ready! She likes it before Thanksgiving mostly because last year she didn't get them all until mid January and that makes it a post-new year family update letter… not Christmas update letter! So I figured I would share with you what I wrote.
A new year brought a New Beginning! At the turning of 2008... As I sat in my apartment alone watching the ball drop in NY on my TV… I bowed my head and asked the Lord what He had for me this year... New Beginnings was his response. I thanked Him for another year and took communion as our family does every New Year! Now looking back... It is almost funny how true those words are... My past year has truly been one change after another. I have a new home, vision, family, friends and outlook on life!
Last year I was at the 6 month mark of working on staff at CFNI... my Alma Madder. God grew me so much in that experience! I love CFNI and miss it greatly. But God brought me where I am for a reason... am back in NC with my Family! By now you have read of my father’s battle with cancer. In Feb My mom called me from the hospital and told me of the pending diagnosis. When she told me it might be cancer... My heart broke… But God! He gave me a peace about it from the beginning... But I still knew change was on the horizon. If the diagnosis was cancer... I would be joining Paul for the journey home in May! On March Forth we got our Orders! After a quick spring break home! I knew for sure, I was homeward bound! We moved home in May! Then on my golden birthday, I started at Family Dollar! A new job, one of those jobs with a 6 months learning curve. I am a Merchandise Assistant in the Paper dept and sometimes the Stationary Dept. So if you need to know anything about Toilet paper or tissues, disposables cups or plates, or occasionally Greeting Cards or Poster board at Family Dollar, I am you girl, for now! True to my understanding it has taken a good amount of time to learn what exactly it is they wanted me to do. But I am finally getting it after 6 months! I am so glad to be home! My family is never the same. God is so good! As I was leaving CFNI I found myself telling people… I've never thought of cancer as a good thing. But in our lives as a family God has used cancer to bring out the best in each of us! The Zinn family is the best it has ever been!
I will close with one last thing... the future... A new Vision! God is good at choosing some of the craziest times in our lives, to speak into us... My life was not an exception... Near the end of March the Lord started stirring in my heart many of my passions and gifts... For me this is no small thing in... My passions and gifts are as different and abundant as the many colors of the rainbow; writing, singing, administration, art, computers, photography, leadership and mostly the Ministry. God being God, He began to give me a glimpse of the picture He is beginning to paint with the gifts He had placed in my life. For all those who are praying for a picture of what the Lord’s plan for your life is... Wait don’t try to figure it out or start it for Him. We can never truly understand or imagine His plan for us. The many ideas and plans I have come on my own… well they would have gotten in the way of the plan God has for my life. Let the canvas of your life remain open, so your life can be His masterpiece.
All that to stay there is a new step in my journey to come… But before I get to it I have to apologize for something I said in last year’s letter and I quote… “Although the state is somewhat large, rater flat but mostly ugly... It's home for now!”... This was in reference to Texas… I am now retracting this statement it was made in my ignorance. I have since been hiking in the Hill country of TX and seen the Desert Mountains of west Texas near Fort Davis! I would have to say Texas is very large and uniquely beautiful… It is a one of the kind state that I happen to love and actually miss greatly. Most of my distaste for Texas started and ended with Dallas (a city most Texans don't even claim)! Now that that is all cleared up! I can in fact move on… My best Friend Audrie and her Husband Steven are now currently in west Texas with their family in the process of starting a Ministry called Wild Fire… A ministry for Individuals to come unplug from the noise and tyranny of the urgent, to hear the quietness of God’s Word to us… Okay so I borrowed the last statement from the brochure… but there is a point! Sometime in the next or so year I am planning to join them in this ministry! Upon meeting these families over the last few years the Lord made it clear that he had a purpose for this connection… this was impressed even deeper in my heart during Steven and Audrie's visit to here in Oct. They visited NC for an extended weekend… during which my family also saw the importance of this friendship. God is truly amazing and I can't wait to look back again next year and see what new he has added to the picture! God Bless!
I love y'all! ~ Alicia

Fret not yourself because of evildoers; be not envious of wrongdoers! For they will soon fade like the grass and wither like the green herb. Trust in the Lord, and do good; dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness. Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him, and he will act. He will bring forth your righteousness as the light, and your justice as the noonday. Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him; fret not yourself over the one who prospers in his way, over the man who carries out evil devices! Refrain from anger, and forsake wrath! Fret not yourself; it tends only to evil. For the evildoers shall be cut off, but those who wait for the Lord shall inherit the land. In just a little while, the wicked will be no more; though you look carefully at his place, he will not be there. But the meek shall inherit the land and delight themselves in abundant peace. The wicked plots against the righteous and gnashes his teeth at him, but the Lord laughs at the wicked, for he sees that his day is coming. The wicked draw the sword and bend their bows to bring down the poor and needy, to slay those whose way is upright; their sword shall enter their own heart, and their bows shall be broken. Better is the little that the righteous has than the abundance of many wicked. For the arms of the wicked shall be broken, but the Lord upholds the righteous. The Lord knows the days of the blameless, and their heritage will remain forever; they are not put to shame in evil times; in the days of famine they have abundance. But the wicked will perish; the enemies of the Lord are like the glory of the pastures; they vanish—like smoke they vanish away. The wicked borrows but does not pay back, but the righteous is generous and gives; for those blessed by the Lord shall inherit the land, but those cursed by him shall be cut off. The steps of a man are established by the Lord, when he delights in his way; though he fall, he shall not be cast headlong, for the Lord upholds his hand. I have been young, and now am old, yet I have not seen the righteous forsaken or his children begging for bread. He is ever lending generously, and his children become a blessing. Turn away from evil and do good; so shall you dwell forever. For the Lord loves justice; he will not forsake his saints. They are preserved forever, but the children of the wicked shall be cut off. The righteous shall inherit the land and dwell upon it forever. The mouth of the righteous utters wisdom, and his tongue speaks justice. The law of his God is in his heart; his steps do not slip. The wicked watches for the righteous and seeks to put him to death. The Lord will not abandon him to his power or let him be condemned when he is brought to trial. Wait for the Lord and keep his way, and he will exalt you to inherit the land; you will look on when the wicked are cut off. I have seen a wicked, ruthless man, spreading himself like a green laurel tree. But he passed away, and behold, he was no more; though I sought him, he could not be found. Mark the blameless and behold the upright, for there is a future for the man of peace. But transgressors shall be altogether destroyed; the future of the wicked shall be cut off. The salvation of the righteous is from the Lord; he is their stronghold in the time of trouble. The Lord helps them and delivers them; he delivers them from the wicked and saves them, because they take refuge in him.

Slightly more recently. Life has been taking a turn for the better… yes better… I wasn't sure it could get much better! But God being Himself is stirring my heart! I am finding out everyday more and more of who I really am and learning to thrive in what I am gifted for right now. Take every season to find out who God is! When you seek to learn who God is you learn so much more in the process! I have never been so sure of myself or who I am, as I am right now! There are days things are hard, even now while  things are great… As God is stirring things in my heart He is bringing the broken pieces in my heart to the surface. Because I have allowed these broken pieces to remain in me they have continued to hurt me or even caused  more damage in my life. Splinters of unintentianal damage done by family or friends have been infected with bitterness and calloused with anger and fear in areas I have never let anyone in because I was surviving instead of healing. As I have submited my heart to the trustworthy hands of the Father… He is slowly scraping away the anger and fear with love, removing the spliter and appling forvigness to the bitterness to remove its infection! I am learning how to heal safely. In this process I have become a better person.

I love y'all! ~ Alicia

One day at a time sweet Jesus... Oh Yes!

On new years this year I prayed for the Lord to give me a theme for the year...

New Beginnings!

That was His answer to me... Hindsight 20/20 thus far...  He wasn't kidding. I have had new things starting practically every week this year or had some sort of breakthrough... If not a new beginning, then a second chance or starting over! It is amazing what God can do when you let Him do what He wants with your life. I am like putty in His hands right now and I hope that I will remain that way! I have been really learning a lot. He is also giving me the self control I would not normally have to endure a cleanse that limits much of the food I love and enjoy. I haven't had any Sugar (Including fruit and juice or artificial sweeteners), Wheat, Dairy (accept plain yogurt) and limited my meat intake to a small amount of Chicken or Turkey (No Beef and no Pork). It has been a challenge and one I will have to endure for a month. But I know that it is what is best for me. God is teaching me the things that are actually necessary to feed my physical body vs. pacifying my need for food with whatever I have on hand to eat. I am pretty sure I have had more energy and generally felt better too! The Lord has also been teaching me more about relationships... now I may never be perfect at them but God is, so He has been the best start. I am learning how to relate to my family better than before and How to let safe people in and how to keep the ones that aren't safe at a safe distance while remaining in relationship with them. Although still distant with many I am getting closer slowly. I know my time here is somewhat short but that is no reason for me to be distant from those around me from church and such. I am learning that God puts some people in our life to be the iron to sharpen us as well as if I distance myself from others He can't use me to sharpen those around me because there is no one around! Maybe the reason He called us to be many members of one body... Is because we are in fact built for relationship. What a concept... God puts you with people He wants you to touch and to touch you in day to day life... Crazy to imagine that He knows what He's doing! I am so thankful for what the Lord is doing in my life! I hope He is working in your life! I love y'all and miss you greatly! God Bless! ~ Alicia